


Destiny for Three

by klmeri



Series: McSpirk Multi-Chaptered Stories [26]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Plotting, Threesome - M/M/M, fake dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21548605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klmeri/pseuds/klmeri
Summary: When at first you don't succeed, seduce again.  That is Leonard McCoy's motto, and he puts it to good use when his favorite shipmates finally seem interested in each other.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Series: McSpirk Multi-Chaptered Stories [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569763
Comments: 25
Kudos: 173





	1. Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you wonder why I’m writing another McSpirk-flirts story, I will remind you the world is a better place when the Triumvirate is in love. Also, I have been in a mood to indulge myself lately.

"You have an eidetic memory, Spock. You must know the instructions better than I do, and I wrote them!"

"Doctor, is it not of concern to you that we do not have a complete assessment of possible reactions? What if—"

"Dear god," says McCoy, "stop there _please_. How many times have you and I accurately guessed what Jim will do?" When Spock opens his mouth, Leonard warns, "Don't answer that."

"What is your point, Doctor?"

"Think of when we have been wrong. That's my point!"

In the ensuing silence, McCoy stares hard at Spock and Spock, unblinking, offers no reply. Clearly, thinks McCoy, Spock knows when he is wrong. He snorts sardonically. 

McCoy eventually mutters, "I _am_ right," and faces a full-length mirror to adjust his bowtie. He frowns at Spock's reflection, who still stands stiffly on the opposite side of the room like he is waiting for another saucy remark relating to his previous complaint. When Spock notices McCoy watching him, he stiffens further. 

Leonard can't help but say critically, "That shirt, Spock..."

"It is not mine," the Vulcan is quick to assert.

"Oh, I could tell," comes McCoy's retort. "Who did you borrow it from and what bargain bin did they dig it out of?"

"The concierge." Spock follows a short hesitation with, "Based upon my specifications."

Leonard literally has to bite his tongue to keep his next comment unspoken. Not only did the concierge probably mistake Spock for a silly tourist, but Spock must have acted like one. A fashion-ignorant one, that is. 

He insists, "You need something _subtler_ for tonight. Otherwise, Jim might catch on." He thinks over their choices, then orders, "Take it off."

Spock doesn't budge, his gaze turning wary.

Leonard rolls his eyes. "Spock," he says, both amused and exasperated, "you don't have anything I don't see in the mirror every day. Not to mention, as your doctor, I have seen every inch of you already."

Spock apparently knows when he's been bested and removes the shirt. McCoy strolls to his room's closet, digs around for a minute, and returns with a shirt that, in his opinion, is much less of an eyesore and less likely to scare off the public. But Spock takes the silky material with obvious doubt, and it is a good long minute before the Vulcan dons it. 

Leonard's not adverse to a shirtless Vulcan in his room—not this Vulcan, anyway—but they do have a schedule to keep to. "Ten minutes," he warns Spock, already fully aware Spock might attempt to delay their departure with more complaints. McCoy heads for the bathroom, tossing over his shoulder for good measure, "Stay right there."

As the bathroom door slides shut behind him, Leonard hears, "Nine minutes and twenty-five seconds." He grins broadly at the closed door.

Spock thinks he knows the sequence of future events from start to finish but in truth, Leonard is more devious than the average man. While Spock's busy pretending to be 'open to flirting with others', Leonard McCoy shall be engaged in a special dance of his own—one that takes precise coordination and plenty of advance planning. 

And neither of McCoy's targets this evening will recognize his sweet little trap until they are well and truly caught in it.

~~~

Twenty-eight minutes later (that is, per Spock's internal clock), the shuttle drops them off at the district's town hall, where a valet obligingly gives them directions to the ballroom.

But before they reach their destination, Leonard pushes Spock toward a quiet little alcove and crowds in close. Because of the low ceiling sloping down to meet the wall, Spock's neck is craned at an angle such that McCoy can feel the puff of Spock's breath against his neck.

"Don't overthink anything," he says firmly to the Vulcan. Then he silently reminds himself not to get distracted. Distraction comes later on the timetable. "Spock?"

"Affirmative, Doctor."

Leonard steps back, then, not quite certain of the meaning of the look in Spock's dark eyes. "You go first." As Spock moves around him, he adds, "And good luck."

Spock pauses, and they look at one another. For an odd moment, it seems like Spock is assessing _Leonard's_ prowess and ability to get the job done.

Then the Vulcan remarks, too calm, "Luck will not be necessary. I have a contingency plan." Before Leonard even fully absorbs that statement in order to question what in the heck his companion means, Spock's long strides have carried him far away down the hall.

Leonard mutters to himself about unnerving hobgoblins and smoothes back his hair. A few minutes after that, he is on his way to the party too.

~~~

The young man at the table plays with the stem of his wine glass while surreptitiously watching the crowd, anticipating the arrival of a particular guest. He commandeered the small table by the decorate foliage, as it was outlined in the setup. There are so many little details he had to be certain of for this adventure.

When that guest finally appears nearby, he throws a hand up in the air and gives an enthusiastic wave to catch his attention. The tall Vulcan notices him and glides over, coming to a graceful halt just out of arm's reach. 

"Hi there," he says warmly if a tad nervously. 

"Greetings."

There is a good reason why this young man offered his services for this special assignment. He admires the neat figure Mr. Spock cuts in the simple black silk shirt, black tailored pants, and polished-to-a-gleam shoes. Only a blind man would call the commander unattractive and believe it.

He pats the empty chair next to him eagerly. "Take a seat."

Mr. Spock only stares at him gravely. "To the red rising moon, and loud and deep."

Oh, right! He flushes. There's a secret code by which they are to recognize each other. "The nightingale is singing from the steep." 

Lines from a poem written by a long-dead Terran named Longfellow. He had looked that up. An odd choice to be certain, but he had repeated the line dozens of times in the last hour so he wouldn't forget this most crucial introduction.

Mr. Spock sits in the chair.

The young man's excitement grows. "So, how does this—"

Without warning, the Vulcan shifts to directly face him and says, "Scientists have recently discovered a rare new element called Beautium. It looks like you are made of it."

His mouth drops open.

"Should I try again?" Mr. Spock blinks and does not wait for a reply. "If you were an element you would be francium because you are the most attractive."

Ears on fire, the dumbfounded young man stutters, "E-Excuse me?"

"Dr. McCoy said you are a chemist by profession. Therefore I tailored my research of human courting to reflect your expertise."

Some of his shock fades to be replaced by a rather horrific suspicion. He looks from the Vulcan to his glass of wine and then twists away. "More drinks!" 

The yell startles the occupants at the next table, not just the server handing out beverages to them. 

Mr. Spock straightens slightly and folds his hands on the table as if there has been a cue of some kind. "According to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, you are supposed to share your hot—"

"No," the chemist interprets quickly, "that's enough, I mean, _plenty_. How about we move on to... mutual staring?"

"Staring is an acceptable form of courtship?"

" _Silent_ staring is," Mr. Spock's fake date states with a tinge of sympathy. "In some cases, it's the only acceptable form. Don't worry," the young man is quick to add, "to anyone else it will seem like we're... interested."

"I see." Mr. Spock's pause is a thoughtful one. "Then I am amenable. Proceed." The stare the Vulcan subsequently levels on his date is frightening in its intensity.

"Wonderful," mutters the man. Taking two full wine glasses from the server who has finally answered his desperate call, he starts drinking one and places the other at his elbow. All the while he fights to maintain eye-contact with an unblinking Vulcan.

Mr. Spock is still nice to look at, he decides as some of the awkwardness of the situation fades. At least there will be _some_ small reward for tonight's participation.

~~~

Leonard McCoy makes his way across a crowded ballroom, finding his quarry with little to no trouble. There is a flock of hawk-eyed ladies (and a few gentlemen too) who aren't chatting amongst themselves but rather keenly observing a man standing alone by an empty table. Why try to see over a sea of heads and hairdos, muses Leonard, when one can simply assess the patterns of the bystanders? After all, Jim so easily catches the eyes of others—always the center of attention in some form or fashion, even when Jim isn't trying to be.

He chuckles to himself. He could swoop in like the best friend he is and save the poor man, warding off unwanted attention.

But unbeknownst to McCoy, as his formal wear suits him so well, heads have turned to track him as well. One of those is Jim Kirk's, whose gaze brightens when he spots McCoy coming toward him.

Leonard calls teasingly, "Why, Captain, don't you look dashing this evening!" 

Jim grins, then ducks his head and peers at McCoy over the rim of a wine glass. "So, you finally showed up."

"Didn't think I had a choice. I _am_ your plus one." Leonard steals the wine glass from the man's hand, who lets him have it without reaction. "You owe me big, by the way."

"Let me guess. My debt is in proportion to the amount of time you're required to stay in that fancy wear."

"At least you understand the situation." McCoy downs the last of the wine before handing the glass off to a passing server. He rocks back on his heels as he glances around. "Where are the bride and groom? This is their party."

"Probably already slipped away. They are newlyweds after all." Kirk sighs a little, as if wishing he could do the same.

Or wishing he was the one who had found his life partner, perhaps? 

Leonard suppresses a grin and indicates the dance floor. "If you're not feeling too morose, how about some fun?" He admires the faint pinkness coming into Jim's face. "Kid, I've told you before—it doesn't matter if you are a terrible dancer. Just follow my lead."

"I thought I would be the leader," Jim complains with a distinct lack of heat as he lets McCoy take his arm and pull him to an empty spot between couples.

"With some dances," Leonard advises his old friend, "you definitely _are not_ the guy in the lead." He won't enlighten Jim to the fact he is talking about an entirely different kind of dancing.

The kind that, Leonard thinks, spying Spock from the corner of his eye, has already begun.

~~~

When the allotted time is up, Mr. Spock's companion bides him goodbye and then sinks back into his chair, studying the three empty wine glasses in front of him partly in disbelief. Unaware of this, the Vulcan moves at a determined pace through the crowd toward the bar area of the ballroom. There a woman sits, seeming relaxed with her legs crossed and a small personal padd on the counter in front of her. She skims through it at a lazy pace. Once Spock reaches her shoulder, it takes the woman a moment to become aware of his arrival. Then she slips the padd in a pocket of her pants suit.

"Hello," Spock begins politely. "To the red rising moon, and loud and deep."

She looks up at him with a warm smile. "The nightingale is singing from the steep. You must be Commander Spock. I'm Ann, Leonard's friend. He has told me plenty about you."

"He shared information concerning you as well."

"Won't you take a seat?"

Spock does so. With a considering look at his new companion, he intones, "I find your culture fascinating... I would like to learn more about your mating rituals."

Her eyes widen. "Oh, dear." 

At the Vulcan's lack of reaction, she swallows a laugh and takes pity on him. "I won't consider that as a sincere request. Didn't the Doctor give you some instruction?"

"His instructions were left to interpretation. The exact words were: 'Make them laugh, and I'll do the rest.'"

She laughs aloud, then, unable to help herself. "You certainly accomplished that!"

Mr. Spock raises both eyebrows. "Should I try again?"

"Please don't," she says lightly. "I think we can manage to be convincing another way." Ann leans closer to him, glancing aside just briefly, and then gently touches the sleeve of his shirt. 

"See?" she whispers. "Someone is paying attention already."

The Vulcan inclines his head ever-so-slightly. "What do you wish to discuss?"

She shifts her position so that from the view of an onlooker, they appear to be very close to each other indeed. "I've heard something of your purpose tonight but tell me, Mr. Spock, what is your opinion of the man who set this up?"

~~~

McCoy slows down the dance to a quiet swaying, tacitly giving his partner more time and attention to continue watching the pair at the bar.

Spock seems to be getting along fine with Dr. Dermott, he observes. Ann is a mutual friend through the couple who married that day, and Leonard knows her well enough that he had no qualms about asking her for this favor. His brief description of Spock's second date to Spock had been: "An anthropologist who is hard-working, infinitely curious and doesn't mind a little fun." He had left out the bit about her being fascinated with matchmaking. 

Well, Jim has stared plenty now, Leonard decides, giving Kirk's side a slight squeeze with his arm. 

In response, Kirk snaps his head back around to his dance partner with a hasty apology. 

McCoy smiles. "Where'd you go, hm?" 

There is a significant pause while Jim extricates himself fully from his inner train of thought in order to reply. "Sorry," he says again. "That was rude of me."

"I didn't say I was offended. But what caught your attention?"

"Spock." When Jim starts to look away, Jim freezes, appearing to catch himself in the act. "I didn't know he would be here. Did you?"

"Oh, I had an inkling." Leonard keeps smiling. "We shared the shuttle service from the hotel."

Kirk stiffens in his arms the tiniest bit. "And you didn't think to tell me that, Bones?"

"He was invited, same as you." _I saw to that,_ McCoy doesn't add.

"That's not it," starts Kirk before falling into dismayed silence.

Leonard grins, then. "So. You _are_ interested in his company."

"I never said that."

McCoy harrumphs. "You didn't have to, kid. Now... I have some advice for you."

Jim states with both dry amusement and exasperation, "Go on. I can't stop you."

"You planned ahead and brought a plus one. Spock didn't."

The man frowns. "I'm not following."

"Because you're not patient enough to let me get to the point!" gripes McCoy. "As I was saying, Spock doesn't have a date tonight. And from what I can tell, he looks fine with that. In fact, he seems more than happy to be single at this wedding party. Notice that he has been talking to _other_ singles."

Jim takes the lead of their dance suddenly, swaying Leonard right out the line of sight to the bar. "Bones..." Jim both looks and sounds quite taken aback. "You think Spock is—is flirting?" 

"Hell yes! Can't you read body language?"

"He's too in-control of himself," mutters Kirk but his gaze narrows. "Which means he is _consciously_ sitting close to that woman."

 _Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner!_ praises Leonard silently. Just one little push in the right direction... "So help the guy out."

Kirk and McCoy cease moving altogether. 

Jim's lips thin, like he could be angry. "You can't be serious."

"Is Spock your friend?"

"Of course he is!"

" _Then go help him._ " McCoy meets and holds his friend's gaze. "Unless you have a reason to be against the idea."

Jim lets go of him, then, looking very grim as he takes a step back. Oh, he won't admit Leonard is right. Moreover, he definitely will not back down from what he perceives as a challenge.

"I'll do it," Jim growls at last and pivots away.

Cheering internally, Leonard slides his hands into his pants pockets, calling out to Kirk's retreating back, "Good luck!"

This has all been too easy. Smug now, McCoy lets out a cheerful little whistle.

Someone touches his shoulder from behind, a lovely woman with a shy smile. "May I have this dance?" she asks. She too glances toward Jim, who is striding away from the dance floor with obvious purpose.

"Darling," Leonard croons, taking her hand, "this dance and the next one are all yours."

That will certainly give Spock plenty of time to lure Jim from the ballroom. Then Leonard can find them 'by accident' and make good use of their confusion to his advantage. 

Truly, never before has he felt so duplicitous—and pleased about it!

He leads his new partner to the middle of the dance floor.

**TBC**


	2. Part Two

By the time Leonard is finished spinning his dance partner around the ballroom to three different songs, he realizes the time is long past for him to make his exit. Kirk and Spock are nowhere to be seen.

He thanks the flushed companion in his arms for the pleasure of her company, and she is quick to offer to partner him again anytime in the future. The nuance of that offer isn't lost on Leonard; he declines it a little sheepishly, explaining that she's certainly a lovely woman but he isn't likely to be available in the future. 

"Oh," she says, clearly disappointed. Then she asks, "Captain Kirk too?"

Leonard manages to nod despite choking.

She sighs softly, thanks him, and lets him go on his way. As he crosses the ballroom to the lounge area, he has the impression his dance partner's disappointment has been lessened by the knowledge of guessing correctly where his true interest lies.

Ann is waiting for him at a low round table, nursing a champagne glass with a second one set out for his arrival. He drops into the chair across from her, scoops his glass up, and tosses back a mouthful of champagne. 

"How did it go?" he asks once he has signaled a server for a refill.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Leonard isn't expecting uncertainty. "But they left together, right?"

"It was strange," the anthropologist goes on, swirling the contents of her glass. "When Kirk approached us, as you said he would, I thought I only had to keep up the pretense of my interest in Mr. Spock. But, Leonard..." 

She frowns, and Leonard hears a hint of confusion in her voice.

"Kirk flirted with _me_."

He pops up in his seat. "What?"

Ann stares at her left hand. "He kissed the back of my hand, asked my name and was most delightful to converse with." She accuses, "You didn't tell me the man was _that_ charming. I wasn't prepared!"

"What did Spock do?"

"Your Vulcan friend didn't seem perturbed by Kirk's behavior at all."

Leonard thinks about this a moment, then sits back again. "You know, I shouldn't be so surprised. Of course Jim would do that. Of course he would! He took your attention off Spock." He relaxes a little. "And then he stole Spock away."

"Yes, he did leave with Mr. Spock."

Leonard flaps a hand, pleased to have figured out Jim's strategy. "Then all is well. I've got it from here." 

The server arrives with a new flute of champagne, and Leonard snatches it up as he comes to his feet, eager to start the search of Kirk and Spock. His friend looks on as he holds out his glass, waiting patiently for her to raise her flute too. 

"To success!" he declares, and they clink their drinks together in a celebratory fashion. "Thank you for your help tonight, Ann."

"You're welcome." When he sets down an empty glass, she says, "Leonard."

He pauses in straightening his bowtie.

"Are you certain about this?"

He grins. "Oh yes. It's like conducting an experiment. I thought long and hard about it all." 

She points out, "Then you well know if the assumptions supporting the hypothesis aren't accurate, the procedures may not be sufficient to claim a valid result."

"Ann, trust me. I know what I'm doing!" _And what I want_ , he thinks.

But her face still has a slight frown. "If I had had more time to observe and analyze... It seemed like the Captain was tacitly thanking me for something. And then when he shifted his attention to Mr. Spock, he simply put a hand to the man's lower back and they sailed off together."

McCoy chuckles. "He claimed Spock for his own."

"But they never said a word to each other."

Leonard moves over to her, leans down to a drop a friendly kiss to her forehead. "Don't overthink it, darling. Those two often don't need to talk to be in sync. And thanks again." He winks at her. "If you don't hear from me later, consider no news good news."

"Good luck," she says, smiling, amused, following a tiny resigned sigh. "Keep your wits about you. I think you might need them."

McCoy laughs as he walks away, thinking that he isn't the one who needs to be on his toes tonight. 

Now, where did his captain and his Vulcan go?

~~~

Leonard has known for a long time that Jim has feelings for Spock.

At first, he found it frustrating that his best friend had fallen for another guy when Leonard was right in front of him, although he was someone not confident enough to confess his own more-than-platonic feelings to Jim. Then Jim decided to be a noble idiot by not pursuing Spock for _reasons_ (damned stupid ones, most likely, in Leonard's opinion), making Leonard more frustrated because, after a while, Leonard too began to see Spock in a similar light. Perhaps it was their particular method of arguing and making up, in which one or both of them admitted to being pigheaded in a roundabout fashion which then led to some rather unusually heartfelt conversations. Eventually, Leonard came to understand the subtlety ingrained in how Spock comfortably expresses his emotional side; he, in turn, was able to prove to Spock that his passionate responses do not negate the methodical, often objective nature by which he lives his life. The basic truth is they are alike in many ways and complementary to each other when they aren't. 

After that revelation, Leonard did try to rationalize liking Spock as an extension of liking Jim. Then, when his growing feelings refused to be dismissed, he thought it was a sign he had moved on emotionally from Jim to Spock. _That_ , obviously, was a fool's wish. Jim need only say "Bones" in his endearing, soft way, and Leonard's heart to this day attempts to thump right out of his chest. He loves the idiot.

So, that's the crux of the issue which Leonard obsessed over for weeks until, finally, one morning he woke up and thought, _What's wrong with wanting both of them?_

No one ever said he had to choose, so why force himself to? He knew Jim wanted Spock, and therefore if Spock wanted Jim, why then how much better would it be if they were paired together when he made his move on both?

The plan began in that manner, with a heart needing to hope and some good old-fashioned McCoy determination thrown in. Thankfully, it didn't take long for Leonard to suss out that Spock is, in fact, open to pursuing Kirk—only Leonard has kept the part to himself about it being a joint pursuit and not just "friendly help" from someone who can claim to know Kirk the man, not just Kirk the captain.

Spock also doesn't know the part of McCoy's sneaky plan wherein Leonard tracks down Spock once Spock follows through with tempting Jim to leave the party with him. 

"Scotty," he calls into mini-PADD unearthed from the inner pocket of his tuxedo jacket. "Scotty, it's McCoy! Are you there?"

Momentary static answers, then a familiar brogue: "Have ye tried the kabobs? They're delicious! What do you think the meat is?"

In the same alcove where he had given Spock a pep talk, Leonard leans against the wall, in parts amused and alarmed. "I've been too busy to bother with the buffet. Speaking of which, I thought we said you wouldn't go in disguise." 

"Dinnae worry, Doctor. I'm not in disguise."

McCoy's blood pressure jumps a notch. "My god, man! Are you crazy? What if Jim or Spock sees you?" 

Scott's voice returns to lightly chastise him. "Tch. I'll have you know I was voted as Most Likely To Go Unnoticed by my graduating class."

Leonard bites his tongue. 

Scott goes on, "I know where the cameras are located and positioned myself to avoid detection." A pause. Then, "I also scrambled their signals to the router, just in case."

"But—"

"The Capt'n and Mr. Spock left before I came in, a'right! I made sure of it."

"Fine, never mind," Leonard concedes. "So, can you find them?"

"Well... There was a wee problem."

"No," he groans. "I need _good_ news. My fate's in your hands."

"The modified tracker program I made based on Mr. Spock's bio-signature had a glitch, so I called down a friend—"

"Hello, Doctor!"

Leonard jerks the handheld device away to an arm's length, staring at it in dismay. 

"Is he there, Mr. Scott?" the excited accent comes again. "Hello?"

"Chekov?"

"Da, it's me. I fixed ze bug in Mr. Scott's program!"

Uh-oh, thinks Leonard. Everybody knows Pavel Chekov is a whiz kid who can do just about anything asked of him—unless the person asking for the favor refuses to say why. Scotty would have had to _explain_ the situation to Chekov.

A bead of sweat forms at the doctor's temple. He clears his throat. "Do we have the coordinates or not?"

"Ze Keptin and Mr. Spock are in ze west wing of ze hotel, Dr. McCoy."

"What's over there?" asks Scotty before Leonard can.

"Indoor greenhouse."

"Sulu?" Leonard gasps. 

"Hey," says Sulu, calm as ever. "Did you bring a medkit, just in case? I don't think the kabobs are made of meat."

Leonard doesn't want to know why Sulu is there, and he definitely isn't going to ask. Resigned, he murmurs, "Where's Nyota?"

"Dancing," Scotty answers, sounding wistful. 

Figures. Uhura can sense an adventure better than Jim can at times, and she would make certain to be invited along. The fact that Leonard is trying to seduce her ex-boyfriend while she is around would make him nervous if he didn't already know she would find it an amusing spectacle.

And a spectacle seems to be exactly what Leonard's night is rapidly turning into.

"Can I just have the coordinates, please?" he half-begs.

"Otherwise we're just glorified wedding-crashers," Scotty says knowingly.

"We _are_ wedding-crashers," confirms Sulu. 

Chekov follows that with a cheerful "Doctor, I don't have ze precise coordinates but I have directions!"

Leonard is... okay... with directions. But, hell, this can't go anymore sideways. "Shoot 'em over."

"Roger that," Sulu says. Then, either to Scott or Chekov, "What do you think is in that green gelatin?"

"I'm game to find out if you are," answers Mr. Scott.

Thankfully the coordinates pop up on the mini-PADD a second later, giving Leonard the perfect reason to cut the communication line. 

He takes a moment to think over what's inside the ballroom (namely the Bridge gang nobody asked for) versus what will be waiting for him in the greenhouse. Both options suddenly feel a little daunting. 

Steeling himself, he says, "Let's get what we came for, McCoy," and pulls up the map of the hotel.

~~~

"It's two halls down, take a left then another left, then a sharp right and—"

"Oh no, dear, you're on the wrong side of the hotel!"

"You passed it already."

" _Damn!_ " explodes McCoy, having found the right doorway at last. He fist-punches the button on the wall next to the door, growling under his breath, "Why in blazes make this damned place so difficult to find if it's the highlight of your hotel? The architect has to be out of his mind."

He's a mess. Between a sudden case of nerves, compounding irritation at a map that doesn't seem to match up to the actual layout of the hotel (he wasn't looking at it upside down like that attendant insinuated!), and having taken his temper out on his clothing, he no longer looks pristine and confident. His bowtie is hanging on by a thread, his jacket is rumpled, and his hair must be sticking up from his tugging at it.

Futilely, he tries to smooth it back down as the door slides open. 

The first step into the greenhouse is met with sweltering heat. Leonard looks down at his jacket and decides it has to go. Shrugging it off, he drapes it over an arm and heads down the main pathway.

The heat soon has him tugging at the collar of his shirt. 

Okay, this is strange. Why would Spock bring Jim _here_? The Vulcan may like the heat but, much like a cat, he won't appreciate the dampness. Jim probably isn't a fan of either.

"And nor am I," adds Leonard to that thought. He pauses when he spies some movement on the other side of some tall foliage. There's a small footpath that leads to a little lovenest-like softly lit cavern where—

"Sorry!" Leonard bleats, averting his gaze and backing up hurriedly the way he came.

—a couple can have a private little tryst.

That couple, unfortunately, _not_ being Jim and Spock. 

Now both flushed and blushing, Leonard veers off down a random pathway and then another. Better find them, he thinks over and over. Better find them and nobody else!

He comes upon his quarry when he whips around a corner and smacks into an oh-so-familiar back. Upon impact, Spock nearly stumbles into the flowering bush in front of him. At the same time, Leonard latches onto the Vulcan's shirt to keep from bouncing backward and falling on his ass. They teeter together a moment before finding their balance.

"Hi there," he says lamely when Spock pivots around to stare at him. 

Leonard lets him go and takes a step back. Avoiding Spock's gaze, he picks up his jacket which had slipped to the ground and shakes out any debris.

"Spock!" comes Jim's voice from behind Leonard. "I think I found the perfect—Bones?" 

When McCoy turns toward the man, Jim hides a hand behind his back but smiles at Leonard as if nothing could possibly be amiss.

It takes Leonard a moment to find his voice. Jim, being affected by the heat like McCoy expected, has his white dress shirt open practically to the navel. Once again, Leonard finds himself averting his gaze. 

Maybe he has made a mistake. Leonard had caught a glimpse of the flower in Jim's hand before it was hidden from sight. These two came to the greenhouse to have a romantic moment without unwanted company and here McCoy is, stumbling right into the middle of it.

No, he argues with himself a second later. Being in the middle of their relationship is what he wants!

Just, they don't need to be standing here awkwardly. 

"I was looking for you two," he begins.

"Obviously," intones Spock, having resumed the relaxed, hands-behind-back stance he had before McCoy crashed into him. 

Kirk glances at Spock before coming forward. "What can we do for you, Bones?"

Would it be too much to say _love me_? Rather than making that desire known straight away, he spots a stone bench along the path and goes toward it, already aware Jim and Spock will follow him.

They do.

He tosses his jacket across the bench, then sits on top of it, ruffling his hair without thinking. 

Jim takes a seat next to him after a bemused look at the crumpled jacket. "You look like you had some trouble finding us," he tells McCoy.

"You could say that again."

Jim smirks slightly. "You look like you—"

Leonard turns a glare on him. 

Kirk chuckles. 

McCoy shakes his head and sits up, not exactly ready for the kind of seducing he came to do (his appearance and fumbling entrance have seen to that) but knowing he can't go back without trying at least once.

He looks at Spock, who isn't quite looming over him. "If I'm interrupting, I can leave."

"Negative," responds Spock. 

Jim slips an arm across Leonard's shoulders. "Bones, shouldn't you ask what you're interrupting before you offer to leave?"

Leonard breathes deep and admits, "I wasn't planning on going anywhere, actually."

Again, Jim flicks his glance to Spock. "Maybe you should explain that statement."

Leonard reminds himself to be suave. He leans into Jim, smiling faintly. "Maybe you should explain why you left me behind for Spock." 

Kirk makes a contemplative noise before saying, "You told me to."

Get one or both to admit to liking each other to him. Then the rest should follow. Or so Leonard hopes.

"Was that sound advice?"

"Your advice is always sound, Bones." Jim grins. "Even when I don't like it."

Under other circumstances, he might flick Kirk on the forehead for that remark. Instead, he lets his gaze skate down Kirk's nearly bare chest and then to the hand still not presently visible. "What do you have there, kid?"

Jim catches Leonard's eyes for a moment, something warm and amused lurking in his gaze. Then he produces the hand, along with the flower in it.

"Pretty," comments McCoy. When Jim holds the flower out to him, he says lightly, "But I don't think it's meant for me."

"But it is," counters Jim. 

What? Leonard looks from the flower to Jim in confusion. Jim pushes it closer when he doesn't move to take it, then closer still until suddenly Leonard gets a deep whiff of its strong perfume.

He sneezes.

Kirk jerks the flower back. Leonard sneezes again and claps a hand over his mouth and nose. Spock plucks the flower from Kirk's grip and states matter-of-factly, "Not this one," and ambles off along the path alone.

Jim pats his pockets, no doubt looking for a handkerchief. Leonard points to the inner pocket of his jacket, visible between them. Kirk shifts aside to pull at the pocket, retrieving both the mini-PADD and a cotton handkerchief. The handkerchief he hands to McCoy, and then he blinks at the lit screen of the personal device before carefully placing it aside.

"Sorry," he says after Leonard has wiped his nose and his hands. 

"You forgot the hand sanitizer," mutters the doctor.

Kirk fishes in the pocket again and, finding it, says as he hands it over, "What else do you keep in that jacket, Bones?"

Leonard rolls his eyes as he sterilizes his hands. Then, looking around, he wants to know, "Where did Spock go?"

"To accomplish what I could not, apparently," Jim remarks dryly. He leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. "You know, this is not how I envisioned the evening going."

"You and me both." Leonard sighs. "It seems I overestimated my abilities."

Jim glances at him. "Your plan, you mean."

Leonard leans back, feeling a frisson of trepidation start along his spine. "Plan? What plan, Jim?"

Jim's mouth quirks in a small smile. "The one where Spock seduces me and then you seduce us both."

Leonard just looks down at the top of Kirk's blond head, afraid to speak, almost afraid to breathe.

"It would have been a good plan," Jim explains, "if Spock hadn't already notified me of it ahead of time."

"S-Spock did what?" Leonard sucks in a breath, idly realizing he now knows what it feels like to have someone squash his hopes _and_ simultaneously piss him off. "I can't believe it. That _green-blooded son of—_ "

"An amazing person?" Jim interjects, straightening up. He crosses his arms over his chest, angling himself toward McCoy with an intense look.

Seeing Jim defend Spock (and Spock's mother) makes Leonard feel worse. His anger deflates all of a sudden. 

Kirk's expression softens. "Bones, don't look that."

"Like what?" Leonard says too quietly. "A fool? 'Cause that's how I feel right now." He starts to get up. "I shouldn't be here."

Jim jumps forward, grabbing him by the shoulders and forcing him back in place. "This is _exactly_ where you should be. Don't move," the man orders. Kirk looks past McCoy. "Spock!"

Surprised by his friend's fierce reaction, Leonard is almost afraid to turn his head to look for the Vulcan. He doesn't need to, though, for in seconds, Spock comes into his line of sight. A moment after that, Spock offers Leonard a small, delicate white bloom. It has little-to-no odor. Then he gives a second one of the same kind to Jim.

Jim releases McCoy to take his flower and twirl its stem between his fingers. "It's perfect, Spock."

"Thank you, Jim." Spock moves his gaze between Jim and Leonard. "Have you explained the situation to Leonard?"

Leonard stares at his gift, still slightly dumbfounded.

Jim crosses one leg over the other. "I told him we were prepared for his seduction."

With a gasp of indignation, Leonard snaps his head up and says, "You didn't say that!"

Jim looks at him innocently. "Yes, I did."

McCoy shakes his flower at Kirk. "Not like _that_. You make it sound like—like you want me to seduce you!"

Kirk cocks his head. "I do, and you should."

Leonard stares at him a while then shifts his gaze to Spock's curious one. "Is he serious?"

"Was that not the true purpose of your proposal?" inquires the Vulcan. "If so, it has been accepted."

Leonard's thoughts spin, making little sense and making it difficult for him to think. He's... won? He has permission to seduce them? But that isn't how it works!

"Okay," he says eventually. "I'm missing something here."

Jim scoots closer. "Like what?"

"Something big," insists Leonard. _Oh hell. Ann was right about false assumptions._

As Leonard looks between Jim and Spock, he reviews that conversation with her with an enlightened perspective—and doesn't necessarily feel good about the conclusion he draws from it.

"You're together," he surmises. Then the full meaning of what he just said dawns on him. He springs to his feet, shouting, "You're together!"

"Affirmative," agrees Spock, tracking McCoy's wildly gesticulating arm with interest.

Leonard sticks the flower under Spock's nose. "You said you wanted Jim!"

"I do."

"You said you needed help getting his attention!"

"Bones," Jim tries to insert.

"I said 'assistance with his affection'," corrects the Vulcan. "You may have misconstrued my meaning, Doctor."

Leonard sees red. "You—you—!"

Jim grabs for McCoy's free hand, patting it placatingly. "Bones, Spock. Enough. We all played obtuse for our own reasons."

Leonard glares down at his idiot of a friend.

"They're good reasons," insists Jim. "I care for you, Bones. I care for Spock." He tugs McCoy's hand again. "Come here. I can show you if you don't believe me."

"Not when you look like the cat who swallowed the canary." But Leonard lets himself be pulled onto the bench again. "So, in a nutshell, you two let me set you up." He stares hard at Jim. "Kid, do you have any idea how much effort it took to put tonight together? For one thing, training Spock to flirt is like training a cat to sing—and I think I'd prefer the yowling!"

Jim chokes. "Why are we both cats?"

"I can flirt," interrupts Spock. When Leonard looks disbelieving, he says primly, "You must be my coronary artery because you are wrapped around my heart."

Jim slaps a hand over his mouth, which does nothing to muffle his laughter. Even Leonard has to swallow a funny tickle in his throat. 

He rolls his eyes to Jim. "See what I mean?"

"He didn't do that to me," mutters Jim around his hand. 

Leonard can't help his curiosity. "What did he do?"

"He gave me a pros-and-cons chart." Jim drops his hand and grins. "I crossed out all the cons."

That funny tickle becomes a funny fluttering in the pit of Leonard's stomach. "You had no reservations at all?"

"None," confirms his longtime friend, who then takes Leonard's hands in his own. "I have no reservations now, either. What do you say, Bones?"

"That's my line."

"Ask me, then."

Leonard swallows, his heart racing, and turns to Spock. "Spock, what do you say? Should we try to make this work?"

Jim offers one of Leonard's hands to Spock, who takes it gently. 

"I believe our being together already works," Spock says.

Jim squeezes Leonard's hand. "Ditto."

"That's good," Leonard replies, meaning it. "More than good."

Jim presses his mouth to the back of McCoy's hand, then says, "I have just one question."

Spock and Leonard look at him.

"Bones, where did that map come from?"

Leonard starts and curses. "Oh hell. Jim, Scotty!"

Kirk blinks. "Scotty made it? He's here?"

"No, Chekov did." 

" _What._ "

Leonard curses again. "They know where we are."

Spock freezes. So does Kirk.

A thought far more horrific dawns on McCoy. "And they've already hacked the security system."

"Cameras," murmurs Kirk, paling as he looks toward the arched glass ceiling.

Spock looks down at McCoy's hand, still in his. Aghast, Leonard stares at him. 

Spock states, "I was not prepared for this contingency."

"Listen. We need a game plan," declares Kirk, lowering his voice to a whisper. He draws Leonard in by the shoulders and beckons Spock to step closer to complete their tight little triangle. "You both know what happens when evidence falls into the wrong hands."

"Uhura is here too," McCoy whispers, imagining all the possibilities if she had that evidence. "What are we going to do, Jim?"

Amusement dances in Kirk's eyes, right alongside happiness and mischief. "I have an idea. But first, a kiss to cement a beautiful partnership." He leans in and kisses McCoy's closed mouth, at the same time stroking Spock's fingers with his own.

Leonard thinks Jim's likely inventive, somewhat dangerous idea can wait a while. "Let's find somewhere more private," he decides. "There should be some caverns scattered around here."

"Agreed," Spock seconds. "Leonard, I thank you for your instruction in human courtship. I would like to return the favor by sharing the Vulcan version."

"Fine by me," Kirk chimes in. "Lead on, gentlemen."

They discard McCoy's PADD in nearby bushes and set off down a pathway in high spirits. After the men turn the curve of the path, completely out of sight, those bushes rustle. 

A young man pops up, leaves and twigs poking out of his hair. He hands the PADD to his more composed companion, then detaches a comm unit from his server's outfit. "Chekov and Sulu reporting in," he calls into it. "Mr. Scott, it's happened! We have confirmation!"

"Great news, lads!"

Uhura's voice, light and feminine, offers congratulations. "Everyone, good work. Reconvene in the lobby in ten minutes."

"Will there be refreshments?" Chekov wants to know.

"Oh, yes. And coffee," Uhura assures them.

Sulu makes an appreciative noise.

"See you soon," she says pointedly, "and be ready for Phase 2." The channel clicks off.

The two men hop out of the bushes, hurrying in the opposite direction of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy and gathering strange looks from other visitors and guests as leafy evidence of their passing is left in their wake. 

Of all the plans in motion that evening, it can be said each one concluded with joyous success.

**The End**


End file.
